“I’m Sorry” Sucks

I have a weird relationship with the phrase, “I’m sorry.” Whenever I’m told to say it, or it feels “necessary” to say it… I don’t want to and a lot of times I flat out won’t (guess my zodiac sign.) The times I typically can be found saying sorry are when it’s unnecessary – i.e. when it makes no sense and adds zero quality points to a conversation or interaction.

But I’ve been on a mission for the last couple of years to evolve the whole “I’m sorry” phrase out of my vocab.

thorned rose : Want to get out of here? Mommy needs a drink....

Me to me:

Examples of some unnecessary “I’m sorry” phrases:

  • “I’m sorry for the delay!” -> try: “Thank you for your patience!”
  • “I’m sorry, but this isn’t what I ordered…” -> try: “Unfortunately, this isn’t what I ordered…”
  • “I’m sorry, but I was wondering…” -> try: “Excuse me, quick question…”
  • “So sorry I’m late!” -> try: “I seriously appreciate you waiting on me!”

Examples of necessary times to say “I’m sorry”:

  • Never -> If you did something wrong, figure out a better way to apologize. “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it.

“I’m sorry” is a weak phrase.

It’s just a surface scratcher to something deeper and, to put it simply, a way to deflect. There is always something way better to be said in place of an “I’m sorry.” I mean, how many times has someone used that phrase and you actually felt better or you felt like it promoted a more positive tone to the environment? Saying, “I’m sorry” is a reactional “oof” to a situation. It conveys how uncomfortable you are and even your distress… in turn, causing you to lose your power.

I’m not sure how one activates cancel culture but can we just get “I’m sorry” cancelled already?

Sure, this article might indeed be coming from a stubborn Taurus who will go above and beyond to avoid saying “I’m sorry,” but let’s seriously think about this. When has a simple sorry fixed anything? When has saying, “I’m sorry, I have a question” shown confidence?

The best apologies that change a situation are ones that come from the heart and are followed with action. And in turn, an aimless “I’m sorry” in email correspondence or for running late, etc. is useless. It’s useless because you’ve probably said “I’m sorry” so many times before that it has lost any and all sincerity it could have (maybe) once possessed. A little secret – the chronic apologizing also creates this weird mini pity party for yourself where the person on the receiving end feels the need to say, “Oh, no worries!” or some other response in an effort to try to make you feel better… and that’s kind of messed up.

As I mentioned earlier, I have a weird history with “I’m sorry.” I hate using it when I’ve done something that calls for an apology, usually getting away with an “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Which yeah, is not a real apology, but didn’t we already agree that “I’m sorry” is fake anyway you strew it? I’m a tragic half-assed verbal apologizer, but my real apology lies in my actions that follow the confrontation. (I know there should be a balance, but I’m working on it okay?!)

Now, in terms of the weird history I have of the “I’m sorry” overuse, I am still training myself out of over apologizing. I have come a long way, but there are still times when I’m writing up an email and have to actively catch myself and rephrase. Not to mention during face-to-face interactions, I’ll find myself at times biting my tongue to catch an “I’m sorry” and quickly rephrase what I had planned to say.

Deciding to change a behavior and actively implementing the change is an uphill battle, but it’s a gratifying one.

Blake Lively in “A Simple Favor”

Emily Smith1 Comment

My Water Journey: An Apology Letter

Dear water,

I’ve been working on not saying “sorry” as much, but I owe you the ultimate apology. I used to hate you, despise you, LOATE YOU, but my heart has changed. Now, I can’t live without you.

We love the drama, no?

A couple of my girlfriends and I took it upon ourselves to track our water intake about a month and a half ago. I knew it would be tough for me because, ashamedly…

I was that girl who used to drink soda for breakfast.

I know you audibly gasped, maybe even puked just then, but it’s true. I was a monster. Since I was a wee lad I would want soda as soon as I woke up. I’d even go as far as waking up in the middle of the night CRAVING the sweet, sweet carbonation of that caffeinated demon.

So we started the journey by downloading Plant Nanny and/or My Water, a couple cute ways to hold ourselves accountable. We even went as far as buying new water bottles for the occasion. After a little bit of research we found that for us, we’d need approximately 12 cups/96 fluid ounces of water a day — it’s different for everyone based on a variety of things.

I was intimidated to say the least. I was already a dehydrated vessel of a woman from my severe lack of water intake, but I don’t even think I was consuming 96 oz. of fluid a day at all. I got busy and forget to drink! Thank god we’re on that #SelfCare train now and are rolling straight into hydration station. *choo choo*

Now, I’m not going to say I am a perfect flower and hit my goal every day, nor have I rid myself of soda forever. If I know I’ll want soda later on in the day, I’ll make sure I hit my goal beforehand so I can indulge later. I’ve also cut my soda consumption down drastically to maybe three a week. And my skinnnnnnnnnnnn honey, omg she is POPPIN’!

But wait, there’s more! Clearer skin isn’t the only benefit water offers.

According to healthline.com:

  • It maximizes physical performance in a multitude of ways. Being dehydrated “can lead to altered body temperature control, reduced motivation, and increased fatigue. It can also make exercise feel much more difficult, both physically and mentally.” Um, no thanks.
  • Staying hydrated affects your energy levels and brain function! “Studies show that even mild dehydration, such as the loss of 1–3% of body weight, can impair many aspects of brain function.” That’s flat out scary, y’all. I know it’s spooky season, but damn. Dehydration also leads to poor mood and memory, and we already out here being hormonal AND dealing with ADHD, so I don’t need help in the negative mood/memory department.
  • It may help prevent and treat headaches — something I’ve noticed in myself. “For example, a study in 393 people found that 40% of the participants experienced a headache as a result of dehydration. What’s more, some studies have shown that drinking water can help relieve headaches in those who experience frequent headaches.” FYI, there’s still more research needed to confirm, but it makes a whole lot of sense to me! So the next time you’re experiencing a headache, consider your hydration levels before automatically popping an ibuprofen.
  • Hydration relieves constipation — another benefit I’ve gained LOL TMI (jk everybody poops and if you’re grossed out please remove yourself from this blog immediately). On a real note, this one shocked me because right after I started drinking more water, I couldn’t stop going to the bathroom and didn’t know why. Little did I know, my body was rejoicing!

I know these are widely known, but helping with hangovers, weight loss, and kidney stones are the last few benefits listed in the article if you’d like to learn more.

BOTTOM LINE: Drink more water. Drink enough water. Hell, maybe cut soda out of your diet altogether because I could write another novel on why it’s so bad for you.

At the end of the day, water, you have been nothing but a blessing to me and I’ll never stop singing your praises. You’re the kween that keeps me a kween.

With love and sexy skin,

Lindsey

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