Morning Commute

There is

A downtown local 6 train to

Brooklyn Bridge, City Hall

Approaching the station.

Please stand away from the platform edge.

Each morning on my way to my unpaid,

Sad and lonely

Unfulfilling internship, I wonder

What if it’s pulling me under?

What if I didn’t stand away from the edge?

What if I let myself go?

Because lord knows

I can’t take this 9 to 5 anymore.

But each morning I close

Off those thoughts and step into the closing doors.

Practicing balance in the middle of a subway train,

Closing my eyes, pretending not to feel my pain,

But in my mind, I see you and your new lover

And it drives me insane.

The anger, the envy,

The regret and disdain–

I put in my headphones.

But despite this crowded train car,

I still feel so alone.

Sometimes I want to cry because the world is so beautiful

And yet, I’m never truly satisfied.

If only I could express my feelings the way that artists do–

If I could paint my sadness when I look at you.

Leaves are falling but they’re still green.

What does this mean?

Why do the good die young

And why does this cold air fill my lungs

Leaving so many words left unsung?

The ground below me feels hallow and yet

I continue on with these heavy steps,

Choking on emotions too hard to swallow.

And I hope that I’ll fall through.

Maybe the soil and cement will cover me

And maybe you will be the one to discover me.

Or maybe the hallow ground under me will be my escape.

I know nothing of my fate;

I only hope these thoughts dissipate.

I hope I can forgive myself for my mistakes.

Published by

Zoë Cardinal

Core Values: Positivity, Dedication, Education & Growth A language nerd with a passion for learning, I aspire to live each day to its ultimate good. I'm consistently in search of ways to become a better person and world citizen, by being of service to others and practicing self-care. I'm currently a middle school teacher in Brooklyn, NYC. Before moving to the city, I studied French, Sociology and Linguistics. I'm blessed to have spent a year in the south of France and a year in Ireland during my studies. I'm sober. I'm queer. I believe I'm on this earth to learn as much as possible and inspire others to do the same!

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