The Price of Being a Female

It’s 7:00AM on a Tuesday. You roll out of bed after turning off the blaring sound of your alarm and shuffle to the bathroom. As you start brushing your teeth, you rub your tired, crusty eyes and glance up at the mirror. WHAT THE HELL? You move closer to the mirror and zoom in on the patch of brand new zits on your forehead. You quickly rinse and spit, so you’re able to use both hands on the demolition task you’ve just been assigned.

After successfully making your skin red and blotchy, you mosey back into your bedroom to get dressed for work. WHY DON’T I LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING I OWN? You think to yourself as you throw another fitted dress onto the floor. You settle on something baggy enough to cover up the apparent 10 pounds you gained overnight. Flustered and feeling disgusted at yourself, you make your way out the door just in time to catch the bus.

Fast forward 6 days. You feel less disgusting and more like yourself. It’s lunch time and you find yourself eating dessert first. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, RIGHT? About an hour later, you’re hit with a stabbing feeling in your gut. It’s almost like someone with sharp, french-tipped nails is using your insides as a stress ball. DAMMIT. You know this feeling all too well. You’re too busy at your desk to run to the restroom, plus cramps usually start awhile before you bleed. You dig out some Midol from your purse and swallow a couple down with your iced coffee.

1 hour later and you feel that dreaded ooze downstairs. SHIT! As you run down the hall to the restroom, you realize that you’ve forgotten a tampon. Luckily, you have 75 cents in your pants pocket to get one from the machine. After assessing the damage (on your favorite pair of underwear, of course) you glance into the mirror as you wash your hands. THAT EXPLAINS THE BREAKOUTS AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM. DUH.

If you were born with a uterus, you can probably relate to this chain of events. Every month, we wonder why we are so disgusted with ourselves and then one week later, like clockwork, we are reminded again that it’s all caused by hormones. Every month we shell out an excessive amount of money on tampons, pads, panty liners and pain killers. Why is it so expensive to simply exist as a female?

Let’s have a little run-down, shall we? On average, this is how much we spend on period products:

-1 box of 36 tampons, $7

-1 package of 44 pads, $6

-1 package of 100 panty liners, $6

-1 bottle of Midol (40 count), $7

-1 bottle of Pamprin (40 count), $7

According to Pandia Health, a lifetime supply of tampons at the price listed above would cost $1,773.33. Let’s say you work full-time at a minimum wage job. You’d make around $15,000 a year, according to USA Facts, so my calculator says that’s $1,250 a month. That means you’re spending more than a month’s wages on something you NEED, that males don’t have to buy. On that note, there’s actually nothing that males HAVE TO buy on a regular basis. Razors? Not a necessity. Deodorant? Toothpaste? Ok, but women need to buy that stuff too. Also, you can argue that those things aren’t exactly a NECESSITY.

Let’s look further into that dollar amount. What can $1,773.33 buy you today?

  • 1 brand new Apple Macbook Pro AND a brand new Ipad AND an Apple Pencil
  • A decent used car
  • 14 monthly unlimited subway cards in NYC
  • 3 8-day passes to Burning Man WITH parking passes
  • A first-class plane ticket from NYC to Bangkok with only one layover
  • 7,092 rolls of Cottonelle toilet paper

Need I go on? I could, but I think I’ve made my point.

Today I read an article that Scotland has unanimously voted to make all period products free for all those who need them. Schools and universities will provide tampons and pads for free in the restrooms, and the government will provide those things for free elsewhere.

Don’t you think the whole world should follow Scotland’s example? I think free period products are a right. Period.

Zoë Cardinal1 Comment

Misdiagnosed and Misunderstood: ADHD in Women

“Look! A squirrel!”

“You’re running on dial-up while everyone else is running on WiFi.”

“You’re such a blonde.”

“What are you looking at? Are you paying attention?”

These are just a few of many phrases I’ve heard as a woman with ADHD. I do have to admit, the dial-up comment is hilarious and was said out of love from a friend. But you get the idea.

News flash to all the assholes out there: ADHD is more than having “squirrel” moments. It’s being withdrawn, having anxiety, low self-esteem, medication shame — the list goes on, y’all.

And the worst part? Even though we are making strides towards the issue…

it’s still a man’s world.

According to verywellmind.com, ADHD is a condition traditionally thought to affect mostly males. Not only that, women often don’t show as many physical symptoms as our male counterparts. Women are more prone to have inattentive ADHD, to where males deal more with hyperactivity/impulsivity. Luckily, thanks to knowablemagazine.org, I found that the diagnosis rate is now approximately 2.5 boys to every one girl.

For those that don’t know, ADHD/ADD manifests itself in three different ways: hyperactivity, inattentiveness, or a combination of both. I’d say I’m about 75% inattentive, 25% hyperactive (some may disagree on that with me though LOL).

Women are often called spacey, chatty, forgetful, air-headed… what great names to be called for a condition we were born with! Just because we’re not bouncing off the walls doesn’t mean we don’t struggle with remembering what we had for dinner last night, feel ALL the emotions VERY strongly, or my favorite, having a full-ass conversation with someone but not mentally being there the entire time. I have had so many conversations with people that after we’re done I have to sit there and recall what was just said. It’s both a blessing and a curse to be able to zone out that hard. Maybe this is what my old doctor meant when she said it’s my “superpower”.

So why are ADHD symptoms glossed over in women? Stephen Hinshaw, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley started studying women with ADHD back in 1997.

*Let’s pause for a brief eyeroll on a study about women done by a man.*

Anyway, Hinshaw found that women not only suffer the same problems as boys do with ADHD, but they have even more problems! Yay! He discovered that women “internalize” their behaviors, meaning they take all their problems out on themselves rather than other people. Of course it’s harder to diagnose a woman with ADHD if you can’t physically see her struggling. Because of things like this, girls often suffer from more anxiety and depression.

By Amber Lewis/Corvophobia on Tumblr

And then there are periods and hormones. Oh yes, these make ADHD symptoms even worse. Everydayhealth.com says, “During the first two weeks of a menstrual cycle, estrogen levels are high and women with ADHD may be in better control of their ADHD symptoms. As estrogen levels drop toward the end of the cycle, symptoms of low estrogen may start to make usual ADHD symptoms worse.” I feel this to my core. Even with my medication, that time of the month makes my ability to focus, control my temper, racing thoughts, etc. that much harder.

The article goes on to say that symptoms of ADHD have a lot in common with when your estrogen levels drop right before your period, or the years right before menopause. Estrogen affects receptors in your brain responsible for serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine.

Serotonin: The key hormone that stabilizes our mood, feelings of well-being, and happiness.

Dopamine: A neurotransmitter released when your brain is expecting a reward.

Norepinephrine: A stress hormone and neurotransmitter released into the blood as a stress hormone when the brain perceives that a stressful event has occurred.

The levels of these receptors dropping + ADHD = straight up recipe. for. disasterrrrrrrrrrrr honey! And if you do the math in the menstrual cycle of a woman, it leaves about one and a half weeks of having to manage ADHD without the worry of hormone/estrogen levels being affected. So ladies, take it easy on yourself. Know when to take a break.

It’s not a catchall, but luckily there are things like medication and therapy to help. Please remember that you’re not alone — I like to talk to my sweet husband when I’m having trouble (and I don’t have a therapy session coming up). Other things I like to do when my ADHD wants to get the best of me:

  • Meditate
  • Write my feelings/thoughts out in a journal
  • Take a nap
  • Talk to a friend/family member
  • Play with my doggy
  • Take a walk
  • Dance
  • Clean something
  • Breathing techniques
  • Listening to uplifting podcasts (my blog here lists some of my favorites).

And most importantly, as I already mentioned, take it easy on yourself! You don’t have to get everything right, finish your to-do list, or even keep a conversation on-track to be a good person. ADHD isn’t a superpower, but it is a part of you (and me), so we love her. We have to learn to love all parts of ourselves, even the less glamorous.

If you haven’t been formally diagnosed but feel as if this blog resonates with you, consider having a conversation with your doctor to see what you can do to get help. You’ve got this, babe.

More ADHD/ADD resources:

Lindsey MorrowLeave a comment

And That’s on Periodt, Cup: My Menstrual Cup Experience

My period has always been an issue — much like it has been for most people who menstruate! For the majority of my life I’ve begrudgingly gone the pads, tampons and panty liners route. With this has also come irritations, yeast infections, and overall extreme discomfort.

PLEASE NOTE

I am extremely thankful I am to live in a country where these options are available whenever I need them. I know it’s not this easy in lots of places in the world, so I will be categorizing this as a “first world problem”.

    I had heard about the menstrual cup a couple years ago. Initially I thought it was for hippies and would be a trend that’d die out soon — LOL. We have to laugh at how small-minded we were at some point, right?

    About a month and a half ago I started getting Instagram ads about menstrual cups (shout out to the FBI for planting that seed; no pun intended). So I thought, “what the hell, let’s do some research.” I put up an Instagram poll on who out of my followers loved/hated the cups if they’d tried them and why. The answers were all over the board, but a common theme was that they loved it once they got used to it.

    What is a menstrual cup?

    It’s a small, rubber/silicone funnel-like cup you insert into your vagina to catch your period fluids. They hold a surprisingly large amount of liquid because a lot of the time you don’t bleed as much as you think you do. They’re a more eco-friendly alternative to pads and tampons; you can go for up to 12 hours before you need to remove it!

    I hate to say it but the ad did its job! I found out which cup I’d like to try first, the size that worked for me, and didn’t look back. I recorded my experience this past week — check it out below!

    Youtube: My Menstrual Cup Experience

    As mentioned, I went with The DivaCup, but feel free to try whatever works for you! With the DivaCup there are three different types:

    1. Model 0: For ages 19 and under.
    2. Model 1: For ages 19-30 and haven’t given birth vaginally.
    3. Model 2: For those who are either over age 30, have a heavier flow, or are at any age and have given birth vaginally.

    On their website, DivaCup shared that the average person creates 300 POUNDS of waste in a lifetime from using disposable period products. Not to mention the massive amount of money you’ll save. One DivaCup is around $40 that you can use for an entire year before having to re-buy. I know for a fact I spend that at least every two months when using pads or tampons.

    Thankfully, you have plenty more options to choose from in the menstrual cup world! And since I am so passionate about period health, I took it upon myself to share those with you (you’re welcome, bb):

    FLEX Cup

    The FLEX Cup, $32: This cup is different in that it has a pull tab which some find easier for removal. It comes in both the Slim Fit and the Full Fit. The Bonus Pack available also comes with two menstrual discs if that is more comfortable for you.

    Lumma Cup

    The Lumma Cup, $42: This is a flexible disc with three sizes available designed to fit into the round walls of the vagina. There is a longer string attached making it easy to remove as well.

    Menstrual Cup vs. Menstrual Disc: What’s the difference?

    PUTACUPINIT.COM

    According to putacupinit.com, menstrual cups sit at the vaginal canal below the cervix. They can be folded into a number of shapes, and have a structured form to help collect the period flow. They are said to be a little more comfortable to insert. Cups create suction when inserted and removed (in order to prevent leakage), meaning you have to *pinch* the cup inside before removing to break the seal. SOMETHING I DIDN’T FIND OUT UNTIL JUST NOW: even though they normally aren’t, menstrual cups are able to be worn during sex.

    Menstrual discs sit lengthwise into the vaginal fornix behind the cervix and are tucked behind the pubic bone. They are inserted by squeezing the sides together (like a taco). Even though they can’t be folded into a multitude of shapes, they have a more flexible body to collect period flow. Discs don’t create a suction, but like the cup, they still do require dislodging with your finger and kegel muscles for removal. They’re also a little more prone to make a mess upon removal. However, the best part: they’re more recommended for wear if you’re wanting to get your freak on — just be sure to empty it before and after!

    Long story short: I loved the period cup and will continue to use it until menopause lolz. I just have to get the light flow situation figured out! Cups being eco-friendly, causing less irritation, ability to sleep in them, provide up to 12-hour protection, and (discs) allowing you to have mess-free period sex?! Sign me up, luv.

    Lindsey MorrowLeave a comment

    Period Cravings Turn me into Ariana Grande

    That’s right. Every month when my godforsaken period rolls around, I want to eat all of the food. And by that, I mean everything in sight. I would normally describe myself as quite the #SnackQueen, but as soon as that time of the month rolls around, I can’t help but quote our Lord and Savior:

    I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.

    Ariana Grande

    So, why are we blessed with period cravings? According to healthline.com, it’s all thanks to the hormones! Estrogen and progesterone levels change right before your period starts, causing your diet to be even worse than it was before (if you’re me).

    Progesterone: Helps thicken the lining of the uterus to prepare for a fertilized egg. Also helps regulate the menstrual cycle.

    Estrogen: Basically… regulates the reproductive system as a whole.

    To sum it up, we’ve got progesterone in one corner and estrogen in the other ready to whoop my cranky, hangry ASS every time Aunt Flo pays me a visit. Rude.

    Let’s talk types of cravings now. During my most recent period I ate two entire boxes of Pop-Tarts in a day and a half. I also wanted all the carbs I could shove into my big mouth.

    Is this necessary? No.

    Is it needed? HELL. YES.

    “I want it, I got it,” remember?

    In that same Healthline article, it explains that craving carbs comes from something deeper the body is wanting: serotonin. That “S” word that everyone is on the hunt for these days. Turns out that eating an entire chicken alfredo from Fazoli’s isn’t the answer because it makes you feel more sluggish than before. Yay!

    That means don’t even THINK about eating two whole boxes of Pop-Tarts (@ myself) because all those sweets will cause you to crash hard. And you’re already about to get wrecked by mother nature. She is the ultimate HBIC {Head Bitch in Charge for those of you who aren’t #woke.}

    Now let’s compare notes. I’ll show you mine, you show me yours. Some of my other must-haves during The Crimson Tide are:

    • Chocolate + Peanut Butter ANYTHING
    • Taco Bell
    • Donuts. Especially with sprinkles. Good lord in heaven let them rain down on me
    • Bread. Bread. BREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M OPRAH BECAUSE BREAD! TAKE ME TO PANERA RIGHT NOW! okay wow sorry
    • An order of Burger King fries bigger than Mount Everest. They have the best fries and if you disagree please tell me where to meet so we can fight
    • Almond milk yogurt — SPECIFICALLY vanilla — SPECIFICALLY Silk brand. My mouth waters at the thought.
    • Brownies. Duh.

    I could go on but this is starting to get weird. Your turn! Please share some of your fave period snacks/meals/anything with me. I’m always looking to expand my palate because even though my cravings got me feeling like Ariana Grande, my period as a whole can be described in four simple words:

    Lindsey MorrowLeave a comment